Machete

Remember when I wrote a review of Shank? No? I wrote it two weeks ago. What has society come to? I'm shaking my head here, seriously. When I reviewed Shank I pretty much told you to watch Machete. And I wasn't wrong, Machete is a fantastic movie!


Machete stars Danny Trejo in the role of Machete, a former government agent whose life was ruined by evil drug lord Torrez (played by Steven Seagal, clearly too busy to be in The Expendables). The plot is straightforward: Machete is wanted dead by a handful of bad people (Tom Savini, Don Johnson, Jeff Fahey) who are all peons under Torrez. This means Machete gets to kill a lot of people with various bladed instruments. Yay!

Helping Machete out with the mayhem is Luz (Michelle Rodriguez) and Sartana (Jessica Alba). Luz and Sartana play out the morals of the border debate while showing that women both kickass and cannot resist Machete (as though the latter was ever in any doubt).

There's an amazing soundtrack (think porn rock), ridiculous action, and over the top everything. If you're looking to have a fantastic time, go watch Machete.

Ya know, there really isn't that much more to say that is important. I find that to be fantastic. I got to watch a nice straightforward piece of cinematic gold and there isn't any kind of real thinking that needs to happen. It is what it is and doesn't pretend to be anything else or even give the impression that it could be something else. Not that I have an issue with films that make one think, I just really appreciate solid entertainment.