Get Angry!

Do I have anything to say about Gears of War 3?

It’s fucking awesome, that’s for sure.

It delivers on everything that I wanted it too: non-stop action led by giant action hero caricatures who get angry instead of feeling real emotion.

Hell, I even got to experience pain and loss, which isn’t exactly something you expect to feel from a mess of bullets and blood in an action/entertainment setting. Dammit I was moved. It was cheap emotion too, but damn was it well done. Does that mean it’s still cheap? Maybe not. I think that term, cheap, is meant to describe something without subtlety, when, well, what the fuck is subtlety worth? I’m not playing Gears of War for subtlety. I’m not living my life to be subtle! I’m living my life to be all up in everywhere! I want to make impacts like nuclear bombs, lasting. I want to get real real with everything, stand up and take all kinds of stands.

Fuck yea! Stand up, get angry, get in the moment!

Boo Adventures

Some gym musings

What exactly am I trying to accomplish in the gym? Good question. I’m not entirely sure.

I want to be stronger. I want to be smaller. I want to have some bigger guns. I want to be able to sprint for distance. I want to be able to jump higher.

There are several sports that I admire greatly, which have helped fueled this desire. Combat sports, be they BJJ, wrestling, muay thai, boxing, or MMA; I’d like to have the physical capacity to perform in this area. More recently I’ve been interested in parkour, freerunning, and Ninja Warrior.

Shit, when you lay it out on paper like that, it looks like I’m really going to have to rock a lot of cardio and endurance based activities. Obviously I’ll have to keep up with my general strength training, but I’ll have to find some time to build up that endurance.

I’m curious as to whether or not I should add pure cardio days. I seem to be pretty worn out from either squatting or deadlifting, and that ends up with me doing some pretty shitty cardio, and that’s no good.

Woo!

Now that was fucking inspiring!

I’m playing Gears of War 2 right now. It’s a video game where I run around as a hulking badass action film caricature in a war town mid-apocalyptic future-esque landscape fighting off humanoid monsters that come from below. Yea, it’s pretty much exactly what you would want if you enjoy ridiculous displays of gratuitous machismo wrapped up in a science fiction package. The game, I’ve found after beating Gears of War and playing through the bit of Gears of War 2 that I have, is my favorite display of war in a video game. I’m a big fan. It really gets the blood pumping and the adrenaline rushing.

So the little bastards from underneath have somehow managed to sink human cities under the ground. It seems an efficient way of crippling the opposition, so you can’t really blame them. The wonderful part is the scene that comes immediately after you witness HOW that’s done first hand, as the pale fuckers drop a city in front of you, and you have the amazing task of running into the once-a-city and rescuing anyone you can find.
The enemy is out in full force. Your three person team moves from position to position fighting off wave after wave of the enemy. Massive buildings fall from hundreds of feet in the air and destruction surrounds you. It’s one of the most intense ten to fifteen minutes of game play I’ve had the joy of experiencing. The shit doesn’t let up. You kill ten monsters, gain a few yards, and kill ten more. They come at you from the air, they come at you from underneath the ground, everywhere you look, you can expect to see the enemy waiting to murder you.

Finally, you find yourself trapped in a burnt out husk of a building in the middle of what might have been the first floor. The enemy is on the second floor. You’re surrounded. They have the elevation, they have the numbers, and no matter where you go you’re receiving fire. Your character screams may day, demands assistance. Right when it looks like you won’t receive any quarter and will be indeed making your final stand, at the last, breathtaking moment, you’re saved, in a gratuitous action scene by this guy:

People watching at the mall

I like to make fun of people that I see in the mall. Would it be horrible to take pictures and post them here? I kind of think so.

But holy hell do some people deserve it!

I'm a CONSUMER!!!

My apologies to my brain, I've been a consumer first, a producer second as of late.

It's a real shame, because I have things that I want to write, I have things that I want to create, I WANT to give back to the world that is giving me so many wonderful things. I just don't have the time. I'm busy consuming. I'm a big fat, gluttonous entertainment junkie.

Did I write about how awesome I think the comic book Lucifer is? No.

Did I write about how entertaining and fucking manly Gears of War is? No.

Have I written about MMA lately? No.

What about my adventures making chili!

A shame. I'm sure the world is missing out on so much.

I suppose I did produce a little bit today. I thought of a post-modern proletariat superhero team whose sole existence is to combat the spiritual evil of giant soulless companies. That's something to toss in the win column!

I'm reading X-Statix right now. I can see where this little bit of brain explosion came from. Will I write about that?

Tropes and Gods

Steam punk Jesus can power his own personal rotocopter through his powers of science magic. Steam punk Jesus has all of the coolest energy weapons: the concentrated lightning blasts he fires have less initial energy discharge than other peoples blaster guns.

Deep future Buddha is fat and mostly naked. His science fiction underpants can change the electrical pulses in your brain: he will literally force nirvana upon you. In the far future that Deep future Buddha is from all food is in pill form and is engineered to give you everything you need and nothing more. Deep future Buddha eats people to maintain his girth.

Chibi Cthulhu forces everyone who gazes upon him to be filled with the love and joy of an over excited tweenage fangirl. He does not understand the concept of sadness, because he literally cannot feel it and nobody in his presence can feel it. Chink Cthulhu has never used a cellular phone because he doesn't have ears, he listens to noises by converting sound waves into ambient energy that only his brain can process.